So I'm Getting A Divorce

I had to go back to 2011 just to find a picture of us together.
     This Thursday almost marked 14 years of marriage.  A milestone that was very important to me.  However, I came up short and will have to settle for 13 years.  It's not how I thought my life story would play out.  In fact, I was blindsided when she let me know that she wanted out.  Trying to make sense of it all just left me angry, depressed, and feeling lost.  It didn't end because of an affair or abuse...it just kind of ended.
     When I posted this picture last week someone commented "Something must be off, you're breaking to many rods."  They were right, something was off in a big way.  My marriage is the one thing that I always thought I had going for me.  We weren't perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it worked.  Since finding out about the divorce I have had more than a few broken rods.  Many things appear to have broken in different areas of my life.  Some I can fix (like my eating habits and smoking) some I can't fix (like my marriage and lost time).
     I've ran into a bit of a confidence problem lately.  From raising my kids, to dealing with the split, to simple things like choosing which shirt to wear to work.  I'm constantly second guessing myself and the confusion is screwing with my fishing.  My friends have noticed something's wrong too.  Lately I've been getting more random phone calls, emails, and fishing invites than ever before.  I've spent so much time on the water recently that I have blisters from my sandals and line burn from stripping flies.  It's working, I'm finally starting to feel better. Kind of funny how something as simple as fishing can make such a big difference.
My whole world...
     My kids are taking it in stride.  They're holding up pretty well and just want to see their mom and myself happy.  We're currently co-habitating in the house we rent.  I moved downstairs to the spare room in the basement and she sleeps upstairs.  It's working out okay minus the occasional hiccup.  Our lives were so far removed from each other for so long (10 years on 3rd shift) that the transition hasn't been all that hard.  We really had grown apart and now after a few weeks of feeling sorry for myself I can see her side.  Outside of our amazing children we don't have anything in common.  Even our long term goals were totally different...it was just a matter of time.  I wish her nothing but the best in the coming years.  It's not like we won't bump into each other from time to time.  We had two very socially active kids together.  I'm sure will be interacting much more than we realize.  So what's this all mean for the blog and the podcast?
     It means you're stuck with me.  I'm turning more attention to my long term goals.  I still don't have a paddle sponsor, I haven't caught a mako shark, or been to Thailand, and my name doesn't appear anywhere in the IGFA record book.  Hell it's been almost 4 years and I haven't reached my goal of 10,000 weekly readers on these pages (only 6,000 short).  That goal has my full attention now.  The blog will have 3 posts a week from here on out.  Two will be written on Monday and Friday.  The 3rd will be the show notes and audio file from my Podcast every Wednesday.  The site is getting a redesign in the next few months and I'm already on chapter 3 of the first E-book.  Big things are coming down the pipeline now that my focus is clearing up.  I've got a few dreams left to chase down and these pages will be coming along for the ride.
     Tight Lines.


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